I’ve got a bit of a bug in my ear right now with no outlet. It’s unlikely that it’ll actually turn into a song and will probably frustrate me forever, so here it is.

iv		iv[9 maybe]		V-V7		i
But when the tortoise		shell came		down, there was no room for		me

I played it out so you can hear what’s in my head. While it’s definitely not what I was originally thinking, it probably has no hope outside of some sort of ode to Mario Kart. I’ll make up some adjoining lyrics to sway your mind:

“I hugged the corner, racing fast,
It seemed I’d place top three,
But when the tortoise shell came down,
There was no room for me.”

Anyways, now it’s out of my head and maybe stuck in yours. Let me know if you want to sing the lyrics for me. I’m thinking a dude or girl with less powerful pipes, but I’m open to interpretation…clearly.

“I haven’t heard anything bad about the MS Security Essentials. I haven’t heard many good things, but they say more security is good security.” Well, maybe that’s a lie. The truth is that nobody knows what they’re talking about when it comes to Antivirus. That said, here are my hastily typed antivirus recommendations.

For Free

I think Avast is considered the best for free. I used AVG for the longest time and never had a problem, but I guess their success rate is pretty horrible.  There are a bunch of articles on the topic. Be careful in searching for reviews or “best antivirus” in Google; there’s nothing that malware likes more than a user looking for antivirus. Is Avira a real AV solution? Never heard of it.

Paid

I use Nod32 it’s pretty well reputed as being the best in the market for its low resource usage; it’s great for netbooks or older PCs. Kaspersky is another popular one. Norton places high on most tests but usually slows computers down to a crawl so I refuse to link to it. McAffee is the same thing with a different name and worse antivirus capability.

Most of the tools fall under the “more is better” fallacy, with Symantec and McAffee being the biggest offenders. They try to sell “security from hackers” to little, old grandmothers and my sister-in-law by doing “FEATURE COMPARISONS” and use “SECURITY COVERAGE“ charts. I’m not a big fan, it leads to people saying things like “well, it has more features than the other one so it must be better for me”. My biggest recommendation is to stick with just antivirus on a home PC (if it’s behind a router [aka. not the only pc plugged into the modem] ). Don’t opt for “surfing protection” or “online privacy”. It’s almost always [fraudulently] unhelpful and just adds pop up windows and buttons and whirring things to every window on your PC.

Get some simple antivirus and hope that Operating Systems and Browsers continue to become more secure. Don’t use Windows XP anymore, switch to 7. And don’t be a teenager/baby-boomer or let these people anywhere near your computer; if you wonder where viruses come from….well, it’s them. Teenagers breed them in MP3 files and free streaming movies while baby-boomers bring them in the door with free wallpapers and eCards.

If you happen to be a teenager or baby-boomer…well, get all the antivirus tools, adblocker, spyblocker, spamblocker, identityprotector, surfwatcher,  hacker protection you can.

Realistically, the notion that we can create signatures for every single bad idea that a hacker or bad programmer comes up with (or doesn’t, in the case of the latter) is a hopelessly foolish one. We’ll move to more effervescent clients where we give the software free reign but burn the client after every use and the tools we use on the desktop will be more and more constricted by the operating systems. This is the only way to limit the impact of viruses. For now….go download Nod32….Leo said so.

I’ve never been a Kevin Rose mega-fan, but I do find him fairly interesting and able to try new projects. His newest is Foundation, a subscription based mailing list.  Essentially, they pre-release all content to subscribers($3.99 per month) 7 days prior to the free release.

The first talk (below) is with Twitter inventor and Square founder, Jack Dorsey. I had never seen an interview with him before, but through watching it seems that I get to know his passions and major life threads fairly intimately. If this video is any indication of the upcoming content then I am extremely excited. I would probably pay for the content if I weren’t miles behind my other subscription services.

This interview has also gotten me reinvigorated in Square; I think it has the potential to revolutionize small businesses and vendors.

A fake conversation that could have happened today if my friend and I were both Woody Allen:

(continuing conversation about intimate audiences in long-distance communications, don’t ask)

“It’s like a set of tin cups with strings, only on a significantly bigger scale…from-here-to-Utah big.”

“That’s an amazing metaphor you’ve got there.”

“Simile, actually, but I agree with the amazing part.”

“Maybe the simile is a metaphor.”

“For that sentence, I agree, but I will forever regret that you didn’t say ‘Maybe the simile is like a metaphor’.”

“Sometimes you make me very sad.”

I hope this brings you a little smile on the first Monday of the year.  Remember, don’t take yourself so d@#$ seriously.

If  I haven’t wished you a personal Merry Christmas yet:

Here’s what I’ve been listening to this Holiday Season….my top 20:

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This letter reached me from the University of Tulsa‘s Steadman Upham:

Colleagues,
It has come to my attention that the remarks of our commencement speaker this morning in the Reynolds Center offended some of our students and their guests. Specifically, some in attendance found the speaker’s characterization of Saudi Arabia to be harsh and inaccurate.

I sincerely apologize to those who were offended, and assure the members of our university community that the comments of our commencement speaker represent his views, and not those of The University of Tulsa.  The University of Tulsa embraces cultural diversity in its all of its programs and actions, and welcomes visitors from all countries who come to study and learn on our campus.  Today’s ceremony honored the accomplishments of our graduates and celebrated the conferral of well-earned academic degrees.  I am sorry if the words of our commencement speaker detracted from the joy of this wonderful occasion.

–Stead

I want desperately to know what he could have said. Amazing! And why the hell would you say whatever it is at a school who’s biggest money making degree is PETROLEUM ENGINEERING.  Time to lol, folks.

So, who could have done this goofy job? Certainly nobody with any diplomatic skills. Wait….Woolsey? Yes, folks, past director of the CIA and TU alumn. R James Woolsey, was the brilliant hand behind this one.  Woolsey, you’ve been the Director of the most established and respected agency in the world but still manage to anger Saudi Arabian students studying Engineering in the American Midwest at their own graduation. Tell me what you said, at this point I need to know.

I have one source that attended the commencement in person: “Basically, he said [countries in the gulf] are training boys to go to school to become suicide bombers and American oil buyers are funding these actions. He also talked about the importance of defending the power grid and SCADA systems”. Saudi Arabia may not have been mentioned specifically, but judging from the information in the news recently it’s fairly obvious that he would want to drop some of the information into his speech.  The comments about SCADA and Infrastructure Protection make sense in this environment as TU is one of the I3P research partners doing work on infrastructure protection (wait, doesn’t that last one look familiar?).

Thanks for making my day, Woolsey.

I had a chance to work the anger in my previous post about my broken relationship with Grooveshark. I’d like to clarify some points.

First, I had no intention of violating any copyright. I used Grooveshark as I understood Grooveshark worked. I took music that I OWN, and uploaded it to the servers so I could listen to it in the cloud. This seemed to big one of the big draws of the service, and so I opted for it.

Second, I PAID for Grooveshark. Well, that is until 6 minutes after I received the DMCA notice from the Grooveshark offices. I was a paying customer since June of this year.  Most people I know who are going to say “Dude, Grooveshark rocks!! What’s wrong Grooveshark?!? Don’t be an idiot, man!” probably don’t front the subscription fee to get the desktop and mobile clients.  I’m just pointing it out because I was dedicated to the cloud-cause. I want this to work, and I want it to not suck. I’d put up with crappy interfaces and buggy performance if it meant supporting the cause.

Third, the RIAA is still out there performing their oh-so-jackassy deeds to hold back mankind. As a patron of the arts, I am continuously offended by their work and general presence.

Fourth, my subscription was due to be renewed TOMORROW. How hilarious, right?!! Serves you right, Grooveshark, you tramp!

Fifth, I was under the (apparently false) understanding that any music provided to the whole was being licensed and paid for by Grooveshark. For all intents and purposes it seemed like a legitimate organization. Apparently I was wrong and missed all the warning signs, you tramp!

Sixth, I can’t believe I gave up on Rdio so soon! My life would have been so much better in it’s attractive, but simple, embrace. If it weren’t so expensive ($10 a month for mobile+web) then I would definitely switch. (How about $6?)

Seventh, I wouldn’t use Grooveshark again if you paid me. I’ll go to parties and be in the same room, but this relationship is over.

Eighth, and last, if you’re paying for Grooveshark I advise you to stop. And if you’re not paying, then I suggest you move on before you’re identified and sued by the RIAA for using the service. If the RIAA can find a way to get to you, they’ll use it.

As readers may know, I had but one love in my life. It was a strong, loving relationship. Perhaps we were both too young to appreciate each other as we should have, but such passion you have never seen in all your years. When the relationship ended [her choice], I was completely devastated. She went off in search of better pastures but I’ve not heard from her since so I have no idea what has become of her.

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MG Seigler writes in “Android Is As Open As The Clenched Fist I’d Like To Punch The Carriers With“:

Nearly 1,000 people responded, and a large percentage focused on the same idea: the idea of “openness.”

You’ll forgive me, but I have to say it: what a load of crap.

In theory, I’m right there with you. The thought of a truly open mobile operating system is very appealing. The problem is that in practice, that’s just simply not the reality of the situation. Maybe if Google had their way, the system would be truly open. But they don’t. Sadly, they have to deal with a very big roadblock: the carriers.

This guy then, essentially, argues that Android IS open, but he doesn’t like that carriers mess with it. What do you want Google to do? They DID create an open phone, now just push the carriers to stop screwing around. This new market of iPhone-alternatives is solely because of Google and now he’s saying that it isn’t open enough? The phone provider has the right to say “you can’t do that here”, and you have a right to try somewhere else. They’re trying to maintain an international service.

I realize this probably seems crazy to iPhone users who have a phone that’s so locked down you can’t even load your applications on it. Check out Apple’s new guidelines for app development. This same guy actually wrote that post. It’s funny because he hardly bats an eyes to see the phone manufacturer set these ridiculous standards, but when a carrier steps in and takes away the tethering feature (also not an iPhone strength) he calls it foul play.

I’ve heard this before, and I thought it was dumb then too. It’s clear this guy’s beef with Google is as valid as getting called a “jackass” on the street and yelling at Thomas Jefferson for the First Amendment.

*Clearly I love Google, and fight for Android like a knight fights for a beautiful damsel. I encourage others to admit their own allegiances.

**Great, now I’m late for work because someone is wrong on the Internet.

Steve Rubel made it on Techmeme today with his article “Google Instant Makes SEO Irrelevant“ saying that “Google today launched an ambitious effort to speed up searching. But what they really did is kill SEO.” My favorite paragraph seems to always be the last in articles:

Google Instant means no one will see the same web anymore, making optimizing it virtually impossible. Real-time feedback will change and personalize people’s search behaviors.

What the heck does that even mean?!? Google made their searches run as you type; it’s not like they shot a cybernetic monkey into the sun. This is a stupid article and Steve Rubel probably needs help turning on his computer. My biggest clue? His bio on the side of his blog: “[Steve] is charged with helping clients identify emerging technologies and trends that can be applied in marketing communications programs.” And his name is Steve, this seems like a foolish combination.*

Google Instant does not kill SEO. Feedback changes aspects of the search [moreover the advertising] game…yes. But you’re still typing in words….it’s still the same queries. If suddenly we started being sent to random web pages based on biometrics, radiation from our cell phones, or by selecting a series of colors to represent our mood then THAT would kill SEO. The fact that Google is using the same exact algorithms on the back end that they always have (well, sort of….[isn't that image goofy?]) only shows you how preposterous the idea is. They’re still returning the exact same results! The only argument he could possibly have is that it’s guessing the remainder of the word you’re trying to type. Watch out people! Start keeping your pets indoors because SEO is about to fly off the rails and through your backyard.  It doesn’t matter how many times I

*I’m sure Steve Rubel is a very nice man with immense talent and a nice car to match. I don’t mean to criticize. It’s just that when some guy says idiotic things about the internet in an idiotic way to get his idiotic blog to the top of Google’s idiotic Instant Search it makes me think that he may, in fact, be…well, you get my point. Please don’t take offense, sir, I think it had to be said. I’m almost proud that you said it first. You’re kind of like the first guy who said “cigarettes are good for the lungs!”

EDIT: This guy didn’t come through Techmeme until later, but much more thorough. Go read a real journalist’s opinion.